


The Wrong Message

by TheMalapert



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Crazy Random Happenstances, Involving Elizabeth the 3rd, Jumin's really busy, Makeup Sex, Married Couple, Misunderstandings, Named MC, POV Third Person, Sexting, Sexual Frustration, party night, she's Eden
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-09-16 20:52:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9289172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMalapert/pseuds/TheMalapert
Summary: Eden couldn't help it. She needed Jumin to stop working so much, but after one too many late-night returns, she decided to treat herself. One night out with a college buddy shouldn't ruffle anyone's feathers. Normal people did it all the time. Working with the RFA, she should have known that not a damn thing that happens to these people is normal.OrJumin thinks his wife is cheating on him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Now that mystic messenger has taken over my life (lol what is a sleep schedule?), I give you porn WITH plot. I jumped the gun with this idea since I haven't even done Jumin's route yet, but I couldn't get it out of m head so here it is. Enjoy. (Also posted on ff.net because why not)

It had been three weeks since the most fantastic honeymoon of all time. Jumin took her to a cottage in the French countryside, and  _ god.  _ The food, the wine,  _ the sex!  _ She was beginning to think her new husband compartmentalized a little too much, having one self for everyday life and having an entirely other (wildly acrobatic) self for vacations. She might believe it if he'd ever taken a vacation before. 

A sigh broke the stillness of her quiet house. A meow followed, and Elizabeth returned from the other room to demand scritches. Eden obliged, absently petting the fluffy cat. Of course, Jumin hadn't touched her since. He came home too late, got up too early, and was always tired at home. A first it didn't much matter, but she was a newlywed not getting her adequate fill of dick. After a while, it really started to matter. 

So what was she to do but find her best lingerie (French of course), get a bottle of wine, and set some mood music to wait until he returned. It was a flimsy lace thing that roped over her stomach to mimic a little BDSM. The stockings were her favorite, sheer and thigh-high. She waited, one of her books in hand. The night chill stole through the house; she had to get up once to grab something to drape over her, choosing a silk robe that she hoped matched enough. While she was up, she decided to pour herself some wine. The soft jazz was probably a bad idea, and after two glasses, eleven o’clock had her eyes sagging. 

She was asleep when he returned.

Elizabeth made for him as soon as the door opened, and he hung up his jacket before petting her to minimize the cat hair on his clothes. It never really worked, but it made him feel like he was doing something about it. The music caught his attention first. He drifted towards it, chuckling to himself when he came upon the scene. Eden… She had fallen asleep waiting up for him again, half a glass of wine still sitting on the side table. He circled the couch, ready to pick her up and take her to bed like he usually did when this happened, but he stopped in his tracks upon seeing the her attire. 

The robe had fallen open, her delectable outfit on display just for him. She was breathtaking, like always. He thought about their time in France a lot while he was at work… Too much. Though Jaehee would swear otherwise, he felt like his productivity was flagging. It had been a rough couple of weeks, but he was desperately trying to secure a certain scarf company’s favor which was turning into a Herculean task. She mentioned an old friend held a high position in it and wanted to surprise her by having him represent his company at the next party. That is, if he could even get them there. The final meeting was early in the morning, which reminded him that if he didn’t get some sleep, he was going to look like a zombie. He did, however, take the time to document her efforts, snapping a few salacious pictures to tide him through the longer work days.

With strong, sure arms, he picked up his sleeping wife and carried her back to their bedroom. She made a few noises when he started to undress and dress her for bed, but he shushed her quietly. After he did the same for himself, he gathered her in his arms and cradled her to his chest for a moment. Eden stretched out in his grasp like a cat and ended up pecking his cheek. 

“Wanted to fuck,” she whined.

“You’re half asleep,” he retorted, but she frowned. 

Blindly, her lips searched out his as she murmured, “Don’t care.” He unwound her arms from his neck and set her on her side of the bed.

“I have to get up early, and you’re already asleep,” he said, sounding more like a scolding teacher than he wanted to. She pouted, roughly turning her back to him, and he sighed. Carefully, Jumin snuggled up behind her and pressed a kiss to her shoulder. “Tomorrow,” he promised.

She was probably already asleep again before she heard.

As he said, he had to wake up early, so she woke up to another empty bed. She didn’t like how normal it was getting. A small  _ bling _ made her glance at her phone, finding a new email waiting for her. She sent back a quick reply, recommending a Sauvignon Blanc wine to be paired with the fish unless it was salmon, in that case making it a bit drier Chardonnay. Eden almost forgot to put Eden Han in the farewell but caught it in the last read-through. She was still getting used to being a wife with the name change and the ever-present rings on her finger. Never really one to wear jewelry, it was definitely a turn around to have to keep up with them all the time. It had gotten to the point that every half hour or so she would have a mini heart attack because she’d gotten used to the feel of them, that she had to glance down and make sure they were there. 

Eden rolled out of bed and donned some comfy clothes, a bitter sadness keeping her from venturing outside today. She tried to focus on making herself some eggs, but they weren’t too riveting sitting there cooking. Her thoughts headed down a darker road than pairing wines. If the outfit didn’t overcome him with lust, what more could she possibly do? Tie herself to the headboard, naked? Though not a bad idea, she couldn’t risk him coming home at three AM as he had been known to do and finding a passed out wife with numb limbs. She pulled up the RFA messenger, sending a personal message to Jaehee. The woman responded within fifteen minutes, and they chatted for a while before Eden admitted her real motive in starting the conversation. She confessed how neglected she had been feeling since becoming Mrs. Han, and Jaehee, predictably, scolded her for having ridiculous expectations of love which didn’t make her feel any better. Jaehee did manage to cheer her up a little though with the suggestion of getting out of the house for a night and doing something fun that was non-Jumin related. 

While washing the dishes from her small breakfast, she contemplated the idea. She loathed the thought of being the pampered partying Han heiress, but the more she considered it, the more she saw a club in her future. A text made her phone vibrate, and she wiped off her hands to grab her phone. This was mistake number one. A breathless worry stole over her when she saw it was from Jumin. She opened it, and to her utter chagrin, it was Jumin telling her he would be late  _ again _ . Something happened on the plane that stalled them; he double booked a meeting in the afternoon on accident. 

_ Jesus Christ _ , she was never going to get fucked!

A hot, itching anger boiled in her chest, and she had a sudden moment of blinding clarity. Yes, she needed to go out tonight. To feel pretty and have fun. Before she knew it, she had an overnight bag packed. Nothing fancy - that she would buy. Still, she loved him too much to simply disappear.

Her first mistake was leaving her rings on the counter after drying her hands. Her second mistake was leaving the note lying on the counter, restrained by nothing but a whim of gravity. 

Because Jumin had a cat, and they are very curious beings. If there was suddenly something (like a piece of paper) on the typically pristine counter, Elizabeth was bound to find it interesting. The cat pawed at it for a moment and jumped back when it fluttered off the counter. She peered over the side and, upon finding it docile, hopped down on the floor to take it in her teeth and scamper away, squirreling it under her cat bed. 

There was an ATM a block down from where they lived, so Eden headed there first. She withdrew around a thousand dollars, definitely enough for one night on the town but well within the earnings she’s had since joining the RFA. No way was she touching Jumin’s money. Her phone was next, and because she knew Seven could track her GPS in a heartbeat, she switched it off. The road was busy, just outside of a fledgling hipster community, so it was swarming with taxis. It was just a matter of stepping towards the road and sticking up her hand. A taxi picked her up within minutes, and she slid smoothly into the seat, wrinkling her nose at the leather-lysol smell but glad that it was at least clean. She told him what corner to drop her off at and, flashing him a flirtatious smile, asked if she could use his cell.

“Sure, miss,” he grumbled, and she tossed a twenty over the seat for his troubles. With one quick call to an old friend, Eden was set for her night.

Jumin, however, was feeling every tick of the clock on his wall like it was hitting against his skull. He was hot under the collar, embarrassed at having broken his promise, and he really  _ really _ needed to see her. He pulled out his phone to message her, seeing the pictures he took last night in his open photos. A rush of arousal had him loosening his tie and unbuttoning the top of his pants. He sent the photo to her with the caption:  _ You looked amazing last night _ .

His hand smoothed down over his hardening cock, and he palmed himself through his pants. He swelled to full hardness, biting his lip to keep quiet.

_ I want you to be wearing this again when I get home. _

Jumin pressed back into his chair, suppressing the noises he wanted to make by sheer will power. He imagined her reading the texts and getting wet, imagined her putting on the outfit piece by piece then imagined her taking it off for him.

_ I'm sitting in my office right now. _

He drew his cock out of his pants, running his fingertips tentatively over it like Eden did that first night. Slowly, he became bolder with his strokes, but he kept his movements contained so he could still text. 

_ Thinking about you.  _

He wanted her. Now. His eyes snapped to the clock, but there wasn't enough time to run home before the next meeting. If she would just text back, maybe he could convince her to make the trip. Fuck in his office. 

_ Want you here. I'd bend you over my desk.  _

Oh, the fantasies that uncovered. He saw dark heels, scraping the floor as she tried to keep still. A pencil skirt hiked up and panties pushed aside while he pounded her into the desk. His tie was stuffed in her mouth to quiet her. 

_ Want you so bad. Touching myself to the picture.  _

He pulled it up again then imagined her wearing that in his  _ office _ . A white hot curl of pleasure built in his gut, speeding his hand. His cock was throbbing, breath coming in gasps, but still he managed to get out one last text. 

_ Gunna come.  _

Jumin scrambled to grab a tissue out of the box in his desk drawer and released moments after. Thick spurts of come weren't fully contained by the small tissue, some getting on his hand. He took a moment before snapping a photo of his long fingers. 

_ Look at this mess I made. _

_ Consider this a preview for tonight. _

_ If you fall asleep, I'll just have to wake you~  _

He found it strange that she hadn't responded and messaged 707. Seven responded, saying her phone had turned off. Stranger still. Perhaps she had taken a nap and let her phone die. He tucked himself back into his pants and went about cleaning up before he had to hurry off to his meeting. Just like every damn thing that day, it lasted longer than expected, but he had the solace that Eden would be waiting for him, ready and wanting. With the surprise about her friend attending the party, he could very well imagine some highly inventive and stimulating ways she would express her gratitude. He just needed to remind himself to get the name of her friend, having missed it when she was talking about him earlier. It was another three dragging hours before he could even think about going home, and a solid hour after that before he actually did. 

Despite the late hour and his early rising this morning, his blood was electrified when he finally got home. He hung up his jacket and thought about taking off the tie or unbuttoning his shirt, but he figured he should save something for his wife.

“Eden,” he called, not finding her on the couch. Jumin slowly pushed open the door to their bedroom, eager to find her. “Eden?”

The bedroom was empty, as was the bathroom and the kitchen, and he even checked the living room one more time. He was frantic, opening every door in the house just on the off chance this was some sick joke, and then he saw them. Two shiny rings, discarded on the kitchen counter. His wife, gone.  _ Gone. _

He knew who to call but could only pray that it helped.

“Seven? I need you to track someone down. It’s an emergency,” he said gruffly. 

“Sure. Who am I looking for?” He could already hear fast typing.

“My wife,” Jumin replied and waited patiently while Seven went silent.

“Was she kidnapped?” He asked after a while, and the typing got so rapid, it started to sound like rain on a tin roof. “Evidence of a struggle?”

“I don’t know to the first and no to the second. Can I come over while you look?” He needed to be anywhere but this empty house. He might go crazy if he had to stay. He might go crazy anyway. 

“Yeah, sure. You’ll probably be helpful,” Seven replied absently, already hacking into Jumin’s security system and bank accounts. 

“Seven…” Jumin said, pausing while putting on his coat. He didn’t want to say it, but Seven might need to know. “She left her wedding rings.”

He could hear 707 suck a breath in, but he snapped the phone shut before he could comment.

Eden, on the other hand, couldn’t hear very much beyond the hypnotic beat of the dance floor. Her senses were focused on taste - more specifically, the sweetness of her third margarita. The dress she found for the occasion was short and tight and  _ perfect _ . A golden shimmer danced around her hips, only noticeable when she got out on the floor, and  the plunging scoop of the neckline did everything to squash her sense of propriety in all the right ways. Strappy stilettos made it hard to walk but easier to dance, tottering back and forth, only able to keep upright if she was moving. 

A familiar face came into view, and she smiled widely, throwing herself towards her long-time friend.

“Eden, you doll!” He giggled, even though he was still stone cold sober. “I feel underdressed.” He was wearing a dark button up with jeans which was admittedly lower class than Eden had gone for, but the bar was always set lower for men.

“All you have to do,” she slurred and undid the buttons of his shirt until halfway down his chest. “There! All set.”

“Did you want to stay?” He said, but he had to get in her ear for her to hear him. The song that was on transitioned to one of Eden’s favorites which, of course, made her scream and pull her friend to the dance floor. 

“One song!” Was all she said before lapsing into a trance, hips grinding and hands caressing like she was born with a pole between her legs. It was quite the sultry sight, and later when they both collapsed into the bar, she found two dollars had been stuck into her bra. Eden, with all the confidence of a bachelorette, slapped down the two dollars and ordered a shot of the cheapest vodka for her friend.

“The next one is on me,” he insisted, if only because he’d buy himself better booze. He took the shot like a pro, anyhow.

“Dei, you are so good at shots.I have  _ never in my life _ been that good,” she whined. He took three successive shots of strawberry rum, just to show off, and then escorted her out of the club.  

“Time for girl’s night,” he exclaimed with the glee of a child, clapping his hands together for emphasis. She let out a long  _ whoop _ and pumped her fist in the air. When it came down, she stared at it because something was definitely missing.

With a scandalized gasp, she said, “ _ I left my wedding rings at home!!” _

Dei put a hand over his mouth, miming surprise, while she dug her phone out of her little purse. If she just sent him a quick text to explain… Make sure he was doing okay… And how was Elizabeth? When her phone lit up, she saw the ten texts and several calls, and Eden’s stomach dropped. 

“You’re in trouble,” Dei said and grabbed the phone. Switching it back off, he shoved it back into her purse. “No trouble on a girl’s night, okay?”

“No trouble,” she repeated. “Yeah… he’ll be fine. He was probably just texting about Elizabeth. Yeah…”

“Elizabeth the cat? The kitty cat? The kitty kitty?” Dei babbled, and she was soon back into her giggly mindset, laughing (and almost falling over) at simply the repeated word ‘kitty’. They stumbled down the block, on the lookout for a convenience store of any kind. They would definitely be needing some supplies.

Jumin practically kicked in 707’s door, but the boy hardly flinched, so engrossed in his detective work. Seven updated Jumin on what he’d found so far, telling him that Eden had gone to the ATM and withdrawn some money then hailed a cab. He had hacked into the ATM’s video camera, and he got the cab’s number. With a quick check of the cabbie’s logs, Seven found she was dropped off downtown near a lot of the malls. Those had plenty of security cameras for them to work with. It was during the height of the shopping day so he lost her in the crowds, but he had a good shot of what she was wearing and what she had with her. 

“Is it just me or is that a travel bag?” Seven asked warily and immediately regretted it. Jumin’s face went dark, hands clutching the back of 707’s chair tightly.

“Do you think she left me?” Haunting doubts lingered in the back of his mind. He had always wondered why she’d chosen him, and his father’s nagging voice told him it was because of his money, his power. She never seemed to want anything to do with it, but she had blossomed as their party planner, routinely handling sensitive information. He couldn’t know what hunger lurked beneath her pretty face, what play for power she might have in store.

“There’s been no irregular activity in your accounts, so besides the card she has which can be cut off at any moment, she has no real access to your money, Jumin,” Seven explained, trying to console a friend. “I don’t think that’s what she’s doing.”

“Then what?” Jumin asked. “She turned off her cell, stopped using the card, deliberately went into a crowded place!”

“Maybe she’s just running,” Seven mused, and he instantly regretted that too. For someone with an entire foot in his mouth, he was still remarkable at sputtering out apologies. 

But if she was just running… That was so much worse than a power play. That would mean it was  _ him _ . That  _ he _ couldn’t keep her, that she couldn’t bear the thought of living with him any longer. His Eden,  _ his wife _ , would rather flee, to drop off the grid, than to endure one more day with him. The woman he loved was so fickle, so sickened, or so lost that she chose a thousand dollars and a shoulder bag over all the love he wanted to give her. It was enough to break a man. 

“We can find her,” Seven promised, but it didn’t seem to help. Then he was saved by the bell. A small alarm went off, and a phone trace popped up on his screen. “She’s turned on her phone. She’s on the block where Zen lives.”

Jumin dialled Zen’s number and for once was happy to hear from the actor.

“Something up?” Zen questioned.

“Tell me the truth,” Jumin threatened in a voice he saved for hostile business partners. “Is my wife with you?” He couldn’t even bear to call her Eden.

“No, dude. Why would she be? Do you know how late it is?” Jumin put his hand to the receiver and asked if Seven had her exact location yet.

“She turned off the phone almost as soon as it came on, but I checked a few camera’s around. I caught this,” 707 said, turning the monitor for Jumin to see. There was a grainy picture, but the woman was most certainly Eden. He didn’t recognize the man she was with - no -  _ hanging all over _ . They stumbled down the street and out of view. Seven explained that the video came from a club’s outside camera that had a very limited range, but he was monitoring nearby traffic cams. 

“I need you to listen very carefully, Zen,” Jumin said stiffly and started explaining the situation. Zen understood and hung up to go investigate the club. “What was she doing there?” Jumin demanded.

“Do you really want to know?” Seven asked but quickly complied to Jumin’s wishes when he was shot a glare that could refreeze the ice caps and save the polar bears. He pulled up the CCTV from inside the club for half an hour before her phone switched back on. It caught her buying a drink and then another and then another, seemingly waiting for someone.

“What is she doing?” Jumin muttered, almost to himself. “She’s a lightweight for fuck’s sake.”

When she hugged the other guy - did she have to be so enthusiastic? - Seven thought Jumin might break his chair. And that was before she started dancing. After that he was oddly calm, like the eye of a storm. Seven knew there had to be rough seas ahead, but he didn’t know how to steer clear.

“Her bag,” Jumin said.

“What?”

“Her bag. She doesn’t have it in the club. She must have left it somewhere,” he continued. Seven nodded and checked the city’s hotels for anyone under the name Eden Han. They also tried her maiden name but to no avail.

“Nothing comes up, but if she’s going to all this trouble, she probably isn’t using her real name.” Jumin cursed and hit the wall. Honestly, it was freaking 707 out. He’d never seen Jumin get this upset over anything, not even Elizabeth the III. “I can monitor the cameras of some nearby hotels, but if I hack into all of them for an extended amount of time, someone is going to notice.”

Jumin nodded and pursed his lips, thinking it through. He hadn’t recognized the dress which meant she’d blown some of her cash on it, at least three hundred dollars going by the type and what the shoes cost. She had to have spent money on that cab and if she wanted anything left over to eat, that could narrow down a price bracket.

“Eliminate everything over five hundred dollars a night for a regular room,” he said.

“Thirty nine. I need to get it about down to fifteen,” Seven said. 

“Take out anything farther than thirty blocks.” They were down to twenty six. “None that have business conferences going on that are heavily advertised. She wouldn’t risk being recognized as the new Mrs. Han.” Seven was just going to ignore the bitter edge to his friend’s voice.

“Twenty.” Jumin started pacing, thinking about what else could possibly influence her choices? 

“Take out all the hotels from the Marriott chain,” he said after a while, recalling a bit of pillow-talk from their honeymoon. It made him ache. “She thinks they’re unethical because they don’t pay their undocumented workers minimum wage.”

“Hot shit, that leaves fourteen, and I can work with that,” Seven said and cracked his knuckles. Time to get to work. He pulled up his body recognition program and input Eden’s approximate height and weight. While he was thinking about it, he scanned the club’s video for the height and body type of the man, setting his program to scan for both of them. The hacking began, and he was into six of his fourteen before he turned back to Jumin.

“Why don’t you try to get a little shut-eye? I’ll field the calls from Zen for a while and wake you if the cameras pick anything up,” Seven suggested.

“I will sleep when I find my wife,” Jumin growled and went back to staring over Seven’s shoulder. It didn’t help, made 707 nervous and jumpy, but the traces were all set just as Zen called back.

“No luck,” he said. “I checked down the blocks and back inside the club in case she went back, but I came up with zilch. Will you tell me what’s going on? The bouncer said she left with some guy. Were you here?”

“No I was not, Zen, and if you have nothing more to contribute to the search, I don’t see why we’re still talking,” Jumin hissed and promptly hung up.

“He’s just trying to help,” Seven said, probably digging himself an even bigger hole. 

“He’s a child and doesn’t know what he’s doing,” Jumin snapped, and 707 abandoned trying to reason with him at all. Jumin went back to his pacing. Seven’s phone lit up, letting him know someone had messaged the main chat. He check it, and lo and behold, it was from Zen. Deciding to hold off on alerting angry-pants over there, he read the incoming messages.

_ Zen: Has anyone seen Eden? I think she’s AWOL _

_ Yoosung: Omg~ _

_ Yoosung: Like seriously? _

_ Jaehee: I talked with her earlier _

_ Jaehee: Messaged, that is _

_ Zen: Did she say where she was going? _

Seven noticed Jumin had joined the chat but avoided glancing over.

_ Jaehee: It was a personal conversation and I don’t feel okay to repeat it _

_ Zen: … _

_ Jumin: If you don’t tell me what she said I will personally see to it that your life is  _ ruined _. _

_ Yoosung: Jumin you’re so scary! _

_ Jaehee: It was actually about you, sir _

_ Jumin: Tell me _

_ Jaehee: She confided in me that she had been feeling lonely and restless _

_ Jaehee: … _

_ Jaehee: I believe the term she used was “horny” _

__ _ Zen: Have you not been attending to your husbandly duties Jumin ~ _

__ _ Zen: naughty boy~ _

__ _ Jumin: I will end you.  _

__ _ Jumin: With bricks _

__ _ 707: Seriously, does anyone have any information on her whereabouts? _

__ _ 707: She really is missing _

__ _ Yoosung: Not Eden!!! _

__ As the rest of the RFA melted into panic, Seven returned to a ding on his computer. An alert on one of the hotel cameras. The picture was better than the outdoor one at the cheap nightclub, so it was easy to tell it was Eden and the man. The guy was carrying a plastic sag with a red logo on it… Seven knew he’d seen that logo before and a quick image search told him it was from a convenience store just around the corner from Zen’s place.

“You’ve found her?” Jumin asked, almost breathless.

“She’s staying at the hotel three blocks from Zen’s apartment, but she and this guy bought something at a store nearby. It could explain the delay from club to hotel,” Seven mused. When he pulled up the records of purchases from the store, there was only one purchase made in that time frame, and by golly, they used a credit card.

“The guy’s name is Dei,” Seven said. “As for what they bought… oh.  _ Oh _ .”

“What is it?” Jumin demanded, reaching to turn the screen towards him. Seven took and, spinning it away.

“I don’t think you want to know,” he said.

“ _ Seven.” _

__ “Okay but I warned you.” Jumin hungrily took hold of the monitor and read off the list of items. A bottle of tequila, three lemons, chocolate sauce, whipped cream,  _ two plastic handcuffs  _ and…. A ten pack of flavored condoms. 

So she was cheating on him.

Oh he hadn’t even considered hurting over that, but now that it was his reality, it knocked the wind out of him. She had never loved him… jumped ship as soon as she got bored… The pain rippling through him was unimaginable, but it was slowly being overtaken by a growing rage. Flames, starting at the base of his spine, consumed him until his was nothing more than a bonfire of this fury. 

“Get me a room number,” Jumin said, voice like grating steel.

“I think you should slow down… Talk to V about this,” Seven started to suggest, but Jumin turned the gaze of a burning man on him. “I already have it. Room 409.”

Inside of room 409, nothing else existed in the world than the handcuffs securing her hands behind her back and the shot of tequila on the floor in front of her. A halved, slightly squeezed lemon was next to it, and she readied herself. On Dei’s command of  _ go! _ she leaned down, balancing by spreading her knees and took the shot glass in her mouth. Eden tossed her head back, gulping it down, and set the glass gingerly back on the floor.

“Disgusting,” she griped playfully and took a suck from the lemon. 

“Look mom, no hands,” Dei said and did the same with his. After his bite of lemon, he settled back on his knees and said, “Fuck, marry, kill.”

“Shoot,” she said, trying to dispel some of the dizziness in her head.

“The powerpuff girls.” 

She thought about it for a moment and replied, “Marry Blossom because she gets shit done. Fuck Buttercup because let’s face it she’s already a lesbian and would give the best head. Kill Bubbles.”

“Now me,” Dei commanded. They were sitting on the floor, each leaning on their respective beds. Blown up condoms, some filled with whipped cream, were piled in the corner, and they had actually managed to make a pretty artful condom bouquet by tying the ends together. At least their drunken brains thought it was nice.

“The past three US presidents,” she finally suggested. His face screwed up at the thought.

“Marry Obama because holy shit it’s Obama. Kill Bush because fuck that. Fuck Clinton because I already know he like BJs,” Dei decided.

“You slut.” She nuzzled the end of the bed because hotel comforters were actually really soft, and her spinning was subsiding just a little.

“Okay. FMK. Me, twelve lions, and your husband,” he said. She shot him a dirty look and jutted out her lower lip.

“Kill you for doing this to me. Fuck all twelve of those damn lions, and marry my husband,” she said.

He released the quick-catch on the cheap handcuffs and rubbed at his wrists. “You would?”

“Of course I would marry him,” she said, looking down at the floor as she continued with, “Even though it might be all he’s good for.” 

“Ouch,” Dei said and picked up the can of whipped cream, now half-empty. He squirted some on his tongue, and through a mouthful of whip, he said, “That’s a bit of a low blow huh?”

“No serious talk on girl’s night,” she pouted, picking up the chocolate sauce. “It’s time for chocolate condom bombs.” He released the catch on the handcuffs for her, and she left them hanging off of one wrist. He took his chance and seized the bottle, squeezing it all over her exposed legs (and some of the hotel carpet which they would pay through the nose for later). She wasn’t wearing the dress anymore of course. She’d long changed into a men’s button up and her favorite shorts. Those were her favorite though, so she squealed as she desperately tried to avoid getting chocolate stains on them.

But she was kind of loud, and the scream carried.

It carried to right outside the door where Jumin had been standing for the better part of fifteen minutes, just wondering what he was going to say, going to do. The scream prompted him to knock, and he did so forcefully. He heard a laugh -  _ his wife _ \- and then another yell. The sound of someone falling against the door made him take a step back, and then the doorknob jiggled before the door opened. There was Dei, face covered in spurts of chocolate sauce. Jumin didn’t know what came over him, but one second, they were standing there looking at each other, and the next, Jumin’s hand was at his throat, slamming him back into the wall near the door.

“Jumin!” Eden gasped and rushed over to help her friend. She managed to wrestle her husband off of him when he turned to look at her fully. Even in the midst of his rage, she was still so beautiful. The too-large button up hung from her shoulder, and at the corner of her mouth, he saw the evidence of the whipped cream. The shirt eclipsed her shorts, but her thighs were a mess of chocolate. It hurt to still want her so badly.

“That’s alright, Eden,” Dei said, rubbing at his neck. “He hit two of my six kinks.” She shot him a look that said  _ this is so not the time for jokes _ .

“How many times?” Jumin demanded, standing in the doorway of their room.

“I’m so sorry if you’ve been worried. I should have told you in person where - ”

“How many times have you fucked other people since we’ve been married? Did you get start the day after our honeymoon, or did you wait a whole week out of respect?” His words were harsh, lashing, but  _ dammit _ they didn’t make him feel any better.

“Jumin, you think…?” She looked back and forth between herself and Dei and thought back over the past few hours. It was all fuzzy, and she already knew she was going to make a mess of this while drunk. “I get how you could think that, but let me assure you, nothing like that has happened.”

He held up the rings, and she put a hand over her mouth, drawing into herself. “Why did you marry me if you didn’t want me?”

“No, Jumin,” she pleaded and tried to move towards him, but he took a step back in revulsion. “I do want you. I want you  _ so much _ .”

“It’s a little late for that, don’t you think?” Jumin replied frostily and dropped the rings, letting them fall quietly into the carpet. She fell to her knees and snatched them back like being on the floor could hurt them. Eden cradled them tenderly to her chest and ran after Jumin when he started to walk away. 

“Look, just let me get my things and we can go home and I can explain everything,” she breathed, on the edge of hysteria. He turned half his face and gave her a look of such disdain, it speared her to the floor until she heard Dei call her name. He waved her back inside because - what a true friend - he’d packed up her bag. Her tennis shoes were sitting right in front of her bare feet, and it was all she could do to step into them to put them on. While she sunk into her shoes, he had a wet washcloth and was scrubbing the sauce off her legs.

“Go get him, tiger,” Dei said, handing her the bag. “You’re his wife. You’ve done nothing wrong. This is all going to blow over. You’ll laugh about it someday.”

“Yeah,” she said, as he psyched her up. “We’ll laugh about it.” She had a tentative grip on her spinning reality, and she trudged back out to find her husband standing in the elevator as the doors closed. She dashed forward, bag banging against her stomach, and stuck her hands through the door. For a moment, they locked eyes, and Eden realized she was desperate to keep him. She would do anything, so she said, “I’ll stay where you want me. At home, if you want, and I won’t go out anymore. Just please don’t do this.”

“I think you’ve made enough promises,” he replied and pushed her hands back out of the way of the elevator. Before she could stop it, the doors closed, and she was left standing in an empty hallway. That was when she got motivated, slipping her rings back onto her finger. The stairs were just a little ways away, and she made a mad dash down the eight flights. Frantic and off balance, she almost made it, but she tripped over her own feet on the last stretch, tumbling down to the main floor. Eden was bumped, bruised, but not giving up. After one deep breath, she hoisted herself up to run out into the lobby. Through the fancy glass doors of the hotel, she saw Jumin sliding into his car. Eden was throwing open those doors in seconds, but he was already pulling away.

“ _ Dammit!” _ She stomped her foot, feeling like a child, but she was lost, abandoned, and still pretty drunk. Eden took out her phone, seeing the many recent messages from the group chat. She opened the app to plead her case to their friends. Everyone but Jumin was on, even V had made an appearance.

_ Jaehee: Eden, you’re here. _

A slew of messages followed, some confused, some accusing.

_ Eden: I didn’t cheat on Jumin. _

_ Eden: I love him. _

_ 707: But what about the condoms? The handcuffs??? _

_ Zen: Oh my god you and.. Handcuffs?? _

_ Yoosung: Ew... _

_ Eden: It isn’t what it looks like. _

_ Eden: I was just having a night out with an old friend _

_ Eden: I knew him before the RFA _

_ Zen: V’s here… _

_ V: Let me handle this _

_ V: ... _

_ V: Eden, you know we were all very skeptical of you _

_ V: But you proved yourself. _

_ Eden: Thank you, V. I know you’d understand _

_ V: I’m not finished. _

_ V: The behavior you’ve displayed today is deplorable _

_ V: We can’t have you disgracing our organization like this _

_ Eden: You guys… _

_ V: Luciel, you know what to do. _

_ 707: Do you really want me to do that? _

_ Eden: No! Do what? _

An error message popped up on her screen, and the app was forced closed. With a quiet mantra of  _ nononono _ , she tried to open it again, but the app had deleted itself. In a matter of seconds, her phone shut down, leaving her with emergency calls to the police only. Eden cursed, wanting to throw her phone at the sidewalk, but she stayed her hand. There had to be a way to get back to her house. Dei still had his phone. She could call a cab from there. It was a good plan, one she was about to enact, when a car she recognized pulled to a stop in front of her.

A bubble of hope.

She threw open the door, exclaiming, “Jumin?”

“No, it’s me. Get in. We have things to discuss,” V said.

“You’ve got a lot of nerve kicking me out like that and then expecting to come here and order me around,” she said, crossing her arms. 

“Just get in,” he said. “Let’s talk about Jumin.” He had her hook, line, and sinker, and he knew it. Eden climbed in and buckled her seatbelt. The car slid away.

“I didn’t cheat on my husband,” she said to start out with. V was frowning. He had papers in his hands, and he gave them to her one at a time.

“This is your new identity. There’s a driver’s license, voter ID card, and we can have a birth certificate mailed to you at this address here,” he listed off and pointed to an address that was on the other side of the country.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” She asked and chucked the papers to the floor of the car. “I’m not going anywhere but to my husband.”

V’s fingers curled into fists, and he seemed like he was making a great effort to restrain himself. “However much I would like to publicly destroy you for hurting my friend in this manner, it would be best for everyone if you simply disappeared.” Eden unbuckled her seatbelt to lean down and grab the papers. Pretending to examine them, she scooted towards the car door and faced V fully to put her back to the door. With one searching hand, she found the button to open the lock. 

“No one is listening to me. This is bullshit, and I’m going to talk to my husband,” she snapped and, just as the car rolled to a stop for a red light, she released the lock, spilling out of the car.

“Eden!” V yelled, but she was already pounding the pavement, getting a fair bit of distance before V even got out of the car. She didn’t think about where she was going, nothing to her name but a pair of tennis shoes, a purloined shirt, and a cell phone that called exactly one number. She did know this: she’d lost V. And damn, she needed to get in shape. Eden doubled over and sucked in air once it looked like the coast was clear. It was nearing three AM, and no time for a woman to be out on the streets at night. She couldn’t do anything else but call the police, so that’s what she did.

“Excuse me,” she started, still sounding a little out of breath. “I’m lost downtown, and my phone won’t let me call except for this emergency call.”

“Alright, if you can just leave your phone on, I can have a squad car sent around soon. Please stay where you are,” the woman said in a calming voice. 

So she hitched a ride in a squad car. It wasn’t one of her most glamorous moments, but the officer was a swell guy, apparently happy that she’d called because it had been a slow night. Still trying to be normal amongst the turmoil of her evening, she bid the police officer goodnight. When she got up to their front door, it wasn’t even locked. She opened it tentatively, finding nothing but silence. She found him in the bedroom, still fully dressed and cuddling Elizabeth on their bed. Eden wondered how long he’d been wearing that suit. He had the lights off, but she could still see the redness of his eyes.

“This is one huge misunderstanding,” she said. Jumin sat up and rubbed at his eyes.

“So V didn’t persuade you,” he said, and she cocked her head.

“What’s that supposed to mean? Did you honestly expect I would just disappear and abandon you like that?” Her irritation was rising, so she took a deep breath to center herself. “V is… not the issue here. I know what all this must look like, but I need you to trust me when I say nothing happened. Dei is an old friend who was available to go out tonight. I swear everything we bought was just for shits and giggles. Stupid stuff we used to do in college.”

“Why did you go in the first place?” He asked tiredly. 

“It’s just that…” She glanced away but decided that  _ fuckall _ if she couldn’t talk with her own damn husband, she didn’t deserve him. “You’ve been away a lot, and it seems kind of trivial now, but I really  _ needed  _ you. That’s why I was waiting for you the other night, and then I just got so angry when you said you’d be late again…”

“So you took your frustrations to someone else?”

“No!” It didn’t seem like she was getting through to him. “I didn’t mean to leave the rings, and then I thought you’d be fine with the note but obviously not.” She was dissolving. “I wanted to have some fun, but I promise I won’t do it again.” There were the tears. “Please believe me.”

He looked confused, which was a step up from angry or dead, when he said, “What note?”

“The note on the kitchen counter!” She wailed, and Elizabeth meow-ed disapprovingly at the sudden peak in volume. 

“I didn’t find any note,” Jumin reiterated. 

“What could have…” And then, just as Elizabeth was hopping off the bed, a stunning realization hit her like a truck. Eden followed the cat until she found the bed, and then, upon turning it upside down looking, she found the note - mostly intact - under the cat bed. “I can’t fucking believe this.”

“That is… unfortunate,” was all Jumin could think to say. He took the note and read it, a quiver of hope tingling up his spine. It said:  _ Jumin, I’ll be gone tonight. Nothing is wrong, but we should talk tomorrow. Love you, Eden. _ Three simple sentences, and his perception of the whole night changed. “What could you possibly want with whipped cream and handcuffs and condoms that wasn’t for sex?”

He was bewildered, sure, but he reached for her and pulled her to his chest. She hugged him with a relieved ferocity, burying her face in his shoulder before answering.

“We made the condoms into balloons, and the handcuffs were for a drinking game,” she said quietly. 

His lips descended upon hers, kissing her breathless. His kisses travelled around her face, as he whispered  _ I’m sorry _ over and over again. She couldn’t think to scold him - just the opposite in fact. Eden mirrored his actions, tracing his jaw with her lips. Unrestrained joy made the rest of her tears fall from her eyelashes, and she started laughing at herself.

“This has been the worst night,” she laughed, and he hummed in agreement. They moved to the bed, Eden kicking off her shoes and snuggling in next to her husband.

“The thing with V was a test you know,” Jumin told her. “He figured if you really did cheat on me, you’d take the identity and leave.”

“I would never leave you,” she said. Jumin sighed contentedly and kissed her again. She laced her fingers through his hair, keeping him there. “You know how we can salvage this awful night?”

“I think I do,” he replied, smiling into her mouth. His hands moved to her thighs, as he pulled her into a straddling position. Smirking up at her, his eyebrows twitched together. “Is that my shirt?”

She blushed and fingered the hem, shyly saying back, “Yes. It’s not one of your favorites so I figured you wouldn’t miss it. I wanted to take something of you with me.”

“I think it’s high time I take it back,” he replied, starting to unbutton it. He made quick work of the buttons, and he soon had the unrestricted view of the neat curve of her waist. Jumin propped himself up on his elbows to start a trail of kisses running from her waistband, between her breasts, and up to her mouth where she had her teeth abusing her bottom lip. Eden was much more impatient, unhooking her bra while her husband was otherwise busy. It didn’t phase him though; as soon as it came off, he moved one hand to palm her breasts. She let out a decadent groan, and pushed his tie aside to unbutton his shirt. When he got to her mouth, his tongue traced her lower lip, tasting the near-metallic tinge of raw flesh. Though he made a habit of reminding her she shouldn’t chew on her lips, he definitely found it sexy when he was exploring her mouth. 

Jumin had his eyes closed, savoring the moment, but Eden didn’t have that luxury. In between getting distracted by the way his tongue coaxed heat to rush between her thighs, she was hyper-focused on getting her husband naked. She had undone the buttons and loosened the tie, but nothing more could be done if he didn’t participate. With a whine half borne of the need for him to match her level of dress and half borne of not wanting him to stop his wonderful ministrations to her chest, she pushed him back into their bed. His dark gaze made her weak in the knees, even though she wasn’t standing. Together, they managed to get his clothes off. His shirt happened to land too close to a curious Elizabeth who bristled and scampered off. 

She laughed breathlessly at the sudden look of concern that flitted across Jumin’s face, saying, “Do you need to go check on her?” His gaze went from her to the door to her to the door in a matter of seconds, once glancing down to those gorgeous tits just  _ waiting _ for his attention. Eventually, she made the choice for him, rolling off and motioning towards where Elizabeth had run off.

“I’ll only need a moment,” he said and pecked her cheek. She rolled her eyes but nonetheless got to work shimmying off her shorts. The realization that this was the first time she was naked in their bed made her giggle, and she thought back to her first night with Jumin. It was very sweet, really. He’d made all these plans with champagnes and rose petals and tiny cakes, but he just didn’t expect her to jump him the second he shut the door. They got to the rest later.

“I want those pants off before you get back into bed!” She called and stretched out, enjoying the sensation of the expensive sheets on her skin.  

“Now I understand why the Greeks and Romans were so obsessed with the female form,” he commented from the doorway. “It is…” His gaze traveled up her body, and she swore she could  _ feel it _ . “Perfection.”

“You’re so not bad yourself,” Eden said and beckoned him to the edge of the bed. Crawling over, she knelt there to hastily undo his belt. With one hand, she popped the button of his pants and with the other she rubbed over the growing hardness there. He groaned, having had enough, and shoved down his pants, stepping out of them.

“You’ll be the death of me,” he vowed and laid her out to hover over her, pausing one last time to fully appreciate her stunning beauty.

“What a way to go…” Her fingers twisted in his hair, pulling him down for a kiss far more aggressive than what they’d already done. He trailed a hand down her side, and her legs hitched up around his waist. A desperate look passed between them; they both knew that teasing could wait for another night. One slender finger ran down her slit before slowly sinking into her wet heat.  _ Damn _ she was already so wet for him, so ready to take his cock. Eden had melted into a mewling mess even before he added the second finger. That was when she started to chant his name, every other breath coming out as a keening  _ Jumin! _ He didn’t want to muffle those glorious sounds, choosing instead to lock his lips around one of her nipples.

His hips rocked forward, seeking friction, and he took a moment to position himself so every slide of his cock pressed over her clit. She gasped, jerking down hard onto his fingers. She was close, he could sense it, but he pulled away. Eden grit her teeth against the disappointed wail that clawed up her throat, letting out a low hiss. She took it out on his hair, gripping it fiercely until he brought his mouth back to hers so she could adequately enact her revenge. She was lips and tongue and  _ teeth _ , kissing away his resolve with every sharp nip.

“How?” He grunted, and she pushed her hands against his shoulders.

“Lap,” was all she could say, and she climbed over him, settling herself just above his cock. She ground down onto him, the head of his cock slipping into her entrance. Both of them groaned, an agreement not to wait any more, and she quickly sunk down, savoring every inch until he bottomed out. Jumin put his hands at her ass and helped her bounce, slowly at first but getting faster with each stroke. There was a tight coil in her gut, and every time his cock slid in it fed the tension creeping up her back. It dissolved into primal movements; this was about fucking and getting fucked. His ragged breath was next to her ear. Jumin never made much sound, but she could always tell by his frantic breathing that he was getting close. Kissing was out of the question, but she glided her tongue down his neck until reaching the juncture there, delivering a bite.

He groaned, reaching between them to rub at her clit, knowing he wasn’t going to last much longer. Every clench of her muscles as she moved was a white-hot pleasure, as inescapable as it was intense. With three forceful strokes of her clit, she threw her head back and gasped out as much of his name as she could. Her body went tense, but she kept fucking him, kept her hips moving as he took over most of it, chasing his own release. Just as it seemed she was coming down, he tumbled over the edge, and they crashed into the mattress. She tried to meet his frantic thrusts, searching out one of his hands and entwining her fingers with it. His orgasm lasted forever and not long enough, but soon he found himself rolling off of her, hands still firmly clasped.

“I think that made this shit night a hell of a lot better,” she said breathlessly. He smiled and kissed her languidly, in no real rush. Eventually one of them would get up to grab some towels, but for the moment, he was content. A thought occurred to him, and he moved away to pick up her discarded shorts where her phone was still shoved in the back pocket. 

“Did you ever check the messages from me?” He asked, tossing her the phone. Warily, she unlocked it and went to the messages which had all miraculously appeared again (one day, she would kill Seven). Eden had to read through them twice, just because she could, before looking up at her husband with a devilish grin.

“If I knew your office was fair game, all this could have been avoided,” she said.

“Consider it an open invitation,” he replied and went back to kissing her.

.

Nobody ever asked how they’d made up, just happy that Eden wasn’t a cheater and would still be a member of the RFA. Everyone at Jumin’s office, oblivious to their night of turmoil, simply assumed Eden had become a wonderful cook now that she brought her husband lunch nearly everyday...


End file.
